After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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