atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
