I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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