what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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