he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
