I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
