Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
