So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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