Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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