WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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