i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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