Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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