Jerry, you need to find god
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
