I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
