So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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