....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
