we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
