clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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