we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
