i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
