Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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