I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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