That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
