Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
