I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
