we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
