Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
