Don't you send me to vm
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
