Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
