He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
