there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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