No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
