So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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