David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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