I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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