somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
