It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
