I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize