Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
