Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
