Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
barbara walters just said penis...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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