omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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