and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Damn victory sex feels great
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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