Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
