I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
