I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
