with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
