and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
