wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
