Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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