Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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