I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
