Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
