WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
