Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize