I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
